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Help Shelby Sunshine - link on the picture

GoFund Meshekby

Last August my father was hospitalized for two weeks in an attempt to diagnose his recent amnesia. He started off disoriented and we originally thought it was maybe heat stroke but he quickly got worse, at the ER, he couldn’t answer commen questions like who the president was or what he’d been doing recently. He forgot I was married in March, he forgot events from the past two years, and was quickly sent to Parkland Hospital’s Neuroward to attempt to figure out what was going on. After being monitored and tested on we discovered he had seizures that were a-typical, not muscle contraction or visible to the naked eye, but had caused swelling in his frontal lobe.

He has been medicated, and unfortunately, he has not recovered many of his memories. He is still going in for treatment to attempt to reduce the swelling - thankfully it has stopped but has not entirely gone away. A few weeks ago he had to quit his job because his health has deteriorated. He simply cannot work, and for a man that is so intelligent and has always been a perfect example of a man busting his butt for his family this has been devastating. He has been struggling to find his place in the world right now. Last weekend we were out on a day trip and found some puppies looking for a home. We ended up getting one, giving a little sweet puppy a home and giving my dad something to focus on.

Tuesday she was lethargic so they brought her in to where I work and unfortunately, she tested positive for Parvo. We had been told she had been given her first set of boosters, which does include a DHPP which should have helped keep her safe. Parvo is a virus that will destroy the lining of the intestines and can end up killing a puppy. Even the most aggressive treatment is not a promise of survival. With the financial burdens my family has been placed under we could not give Shelby the 2000$+ treatment. Thankfully the people I work with stepped in and are willing to let us break it up, but, we’re needing help. I’ve only been there a few months and I’d like to get this debt resolved as quickly as possible and still give Shelby the best chance of survival. She needs constant fluids, both IV and SQ overnight, medication, additional vitamins and specialized nutrition boosters. Right now she’s in good spirits, but, this is a brutal disease that can turn at any moment and we’re doing all we can to take care of Miss Shelby Sunshine.

I hate turning to people for help, but, if you have a chance to spare a moment and some money, we truly would appreciate it. Every dime goes to Shelby’s treatment and paying off her bill and if there is any left, it will go straight into a reserve fund to help my parents out. Thank you so much for your time, and even if you can’t spare anything, please offer some good luck for miss Shelby.

Since August with Dad’s hospitalization we’ve also been supporting our roommate, my grandfather had to be put into a nursing home for Alzheimer’s treatment, my father then had to quit his job, and now Shelby has Parvo. It’s been a really, really rough patch and we’re doing everything we can but any help or signal boosts would be so grately appreciated. Thank you.

All this, to you.

"Kali," It's a whisper, hoarse and low with all the dripping, oozing depth of the claim he's tried on her before and he will try again, and again, and again until she comes undone before him.

He never calls her Fatin, never whispers her name in the hushed tones that only lovers use when they're spent and exhausted and quietly glowing next to one another. This is fine by her. This is good to her. This is safe, and it is their haven, and the definition they leave between who they are together and who they are when they are not near one another. The way he speaks her name is nothing short of reverent though, when in reality it is his favorite when she is sweet and graceful at his feet, posed perfectly in a crouch with those eyes - eyes he stares into, eyes that fill him up and swallow him whole. He likes that in her, he says, that she is defiant until she goes down and then when she does finally it's with sublime looks and all the grace that he swears was bred into her.

"You are made for this," He murmurs, dark fingers tracing through her fire-spun hair, twisting slightly to pull her closer to urge her to his feet. "You would look so beautiful, swollen with my sons - wouldn't you?" She looked up, lashes obscuring her eyes for a moment in a sort of pondering silence. "Answer me, Kali." It's an order this time, not a question. "Yes." She said finally. "Someday," He said with an almost loving tone.

And there is love, naturally, intimately, wholly. There is a love from him to her the way that one treasures a favorite possession, and there is love from her to him the way that one whole must adore the one who protects you, who owns you.

He tugs her hair again and directs her to her work and she parts her mouth, maw angled just so that teeth made for destruction are only aides in her work. She takes him to the root, eyes flashing as he saw the subtle way that his head fell back in silent admission. Had she not had her lips so stretched around him she would have smiled obscenely. Instead she pressed her tongue upwards, pushing him against the ridged roof of her mouth. His groans became increasingly louder, offset by the sounds of satisfied slurps - not her usual precision but that only made him come undone faster. The admission of sloppy work, allowing herself to be used in such a way, she knew he loved it so. And so she gave. And she gave. And she gave.

The hand knotted into her hair became more desperate, more needy, defined by mutual need and a near desperation until finally with a growl he emptied himself down her throat and she swallowed, eyes still locked on him, taking everything he offered her. It was a long time before he released her hair and pulled her up by the jaw, his fingers clawing down her flesh. "Kali," He murmured again.

He pulled her against him, crushing her into his embrace, dark flesh hovering over her bright fur. "Stormbringer," She murmured the moment that his fingers swept up inside of her, owning her, filling her. His teeth closed around her throat, her pulse dancing just beneath his fangs. Even though it was harder to take a full breath she did not stop the mantra of his name, the broken whispers in the throws of her passion. And then he pressed just so inside her, his thumb pressing against her and his jaw closing until her brain sputtered somewhere between the world exploding and fading out and she came shuttering and trembling in his arms. "You are beautiful," He whispered against her flesh as he tenderly licked the nicked spots on her neck.

"I am yours," She rasped back.

I have thoughts....

So there's been some interesting changes to my dynamic lately.

I was accepted into an internship with a Vet tech program. There are some pros and cons to this. The big BIG pro is that my school will be paid for. The con is that this school isn't nationally accredited so I won't be able to sit on the board exams. Pro, that's not needed in Texas to be a Vet Tech. Pro, while I am interning at the Clinic (Still need to find a clinic, my goal is to have one in the next two weeks) I'll be making Minimum Wage....rather than it being an unpaid internship. I'm excited about this, it's definitely something I've wanted.

But lately, I'm just....I'm missing something. This birthday has come and gone and while I'm accomplishing my goal of getting back into school and finally doing something with my life I'm still feeling lackluster. I think if I could have one thing it would be just a weekend, hell, even one damn day with my family up in Baltimore. It kills me that for as much of my life I have shared with Matt I haven't gotten to share my sisters with him. I want to see them all just together, relaxing, laughing, talking - just finding the same sort of ease that I do with the people that matter most to me. Now I know it probably won't be the magical bond that I've come to know with them but a girl can dream right?

I just need some family time really. I need to recharge.
You saw my pain, washed out in the rain
Broken glass, saw the blood run from my veins
But you saw no fault no crack in my heart
And you kneel beside my hope torn apart
But the ghosts that we knew will flicker from you
And we'll live a long life
So give me hope in the darkness that I will see the light
Cause oh that gave me such a fright
But I will hold as long as you like
Just promise me we'll be alright

She could not remember when she had been told. Only that Isaiah had been charged with telling her of her lover's demise. It had not been a familiar comforting face, like Eydiss or Sterling, but someone that she had felt guilty around for months. She slunk like a mutt with it's tail tucked whenever she spotted him in town thanks to what she had done with their relationship. She should never have pushed those boundaries, never had drank so much and certainly should not have taken that poor man to bed. Without saying a word to Sterling she had taken off into the night. Isheth for as much as she tried to be big and strong was a little girl inside, unable to face loss, and unable to let go of pain.

So lead me back
Turn south from that place
And close my eyes from my recent disgrace
Cause you know my call
We'll share my all
Now children come and they will hear me roar
So give me hope in the darkness that I will see the light
Cause oh that gave me such a fright
But I will hold as long as you like
Just promise me that we'll be alright

Why she came to Nagard was a selfish reason. She had searched this land, just as she had searched the rest time and time again, and there was nothing familiar and special to them here. But to her, it was comfort. To her, it was a place of peace and beauty. Nagrand was home to gorgeous creatures, exotic beauty, sights that made her heart soar. Sights she had hoped to share with him but would never get the chance. She had never managed to recover their relationship from how she had destroyed it. What was it about loving her that seemed to complicate everything? Why was it that she had not been with him, not been there to save him? He had someone else there, and for Isheth, it was a cold slap in the face. Bitterly she gripped the reins of her Windsteed, her cloak pulled tight around her shoulders as the wind ripped around them. She knew the life they lived was one made to test and to conquer. Not everyone lived, not everyone came out alright....but...but of all the people. Of all the things that Azeroth had done to her, to take him? Take her love? A small squeak of a cry came from her lips and she snapped her muzzle shut, clamping down until the fresh wave of pain was swallowed back and she could feel control again.

But hold me still bury my heart on the cold
And hold me still bury my heart next to yours

She brought the steed down on one of the floating islands where water fell right down the side, cascading down towards the earth below. She dismounted and smoothed out the fur-lined robe she wore and then reached over to take from her pack the flowers she had gathered. A shallow grave was clawed and the golden colored flowers lowered to the earth. The lotus was known and revered for it's luck bringing properties and Isheth had selected them to bring Dreyden the luck he deserved in the next life. She drew the earth around the bulbs, allowing the strongest flowers to sit proudly above the dirt. She did not hide her tears and for a moment she remained on her knees, clutching the ground, willing this fresh pain to leave her quickly. Night came instead of relief, and when she felt she had cried herself to exhaustion she leaned back against the tree that would provide shade over Dreyden's memorial.

So give me hope in the darkness that I will see the light
Cause oh that gave me such a fright
But I will hold on with all of my might
Just promise me that we'll be alright

She would never seem him smile again, never be able to hug him, or kiss him, or sit in comfortable silence at his side. They would never wrestle or hunt together, he would never indulge her and let her knot flowers into his hair only to have Aska pluck them out...they would never share a moment together again, good or bad. She clutched her arms to her sides, holding herself tightly. Her chest stammered, contracting painfully - it was an ache that tears could not soothe, that time would never truly take away and it was because it terrified her. She did not fathom life her without him, even if she had lived it alone the past year, even two.

But the ghosts that we knew made us black and all blue
But we'll live a long life

Sleep was hard, it suffocated her, and she only found comfort when curled among the sweet smelling flowers. It was not his smell - powerful, real, charged, feral - but it was a smell that could permeate the darkness and mask her present.

But the ghosts that we knew will flicker from you
And we'll live a long life

When dawn broke she enchanted the area, protecting the memorial against any intruders. She mounted the Windsteed but it was a long time before she could spur him away and leave behind Dreyden, the eternal love of her life.

oh my goshhh.

Lemme just...store this here.



Happy Yule, Dearest.

Sterling asked about you today. He asked how you'd been, and at my balking, asked how -we- were, and I just didn't have the heart to lie. I miss you, I wonder how you are, and I hope that this reaches you well. I couldn't have thought up a better gift, but, he reminded me of you. Spitfire, all spirit. Wild, a little hectic. I hope Aska doesn't mind too much, and that you are found well. I hope this little cub keeps you warm - he's obstinate, this one, but has a good heart.

I miss you, and hope that wherever you are, you are safe.

Happy Yule, Dreyden,

I love you.
- Maitane

Her heart thundered in her chest, beating wildly for a moment as she realized she had written those words and signed her own real name. She had rarely done something so thoughtlessly, but, then again at the heart of it it had been her consuming thought for years. She pulled the cloak closer around her chest, pausing to give the kitten at her feet a soft scratch before she placed the letter and cage it accompanied in the arms of the post master. Her brother watched on silently and offered her his arm when she was close enough. Her heavy paws crossed on his slick, soft skin and she sighed. She towered over him now though they never spoke of it. He reached out and softly pushed her thick, heavy hair away from her eyes. "Mai..." He started gently, and corrected himself. "Isheth," he coughed slightly as his voice caught in his throat. "I..I don't need specifics. You're stronger than you think, and it kills me to see you so downtrodden during The Feast of Winter Veil. Its meant to be happy, and so are you..C'mon Pup, a smile for me?" And despite herself and all her sour moods she couldn't help but smile at her brother. He always did make her feel better.



I've been feeling down the past few days...hell, weeks really. It's probably been since I accepted we couldn't go to AC and thus, were missing out on seeing my sisters and getting the whole gang together again.

But, the past few days have been magically uplifting, I dunno. Somehow it almost feels like renewing my bonds with the people I love, kinda like how I imagined the trip would go. It's silly, because they weren't weak by any means, but, having them still be stronger is always a blessing and it makes all my other frustrations smaller. Knowing that I've got people at my side supporting me, caring for me, and making my life better just means a lot.

Okay, I stop mush now! :)


I can't wait until Evan is gone. He brings home people at 10PM which have consistently set Hazel off. Every time she's been near these two she goes into fits of barking and I basically have to sequester her off in our bedroom. He does this without asking us, letting us know, basically ignoring any forms of common sense or just decency.

So now rather than relaxing and enjoying the rest of our evening, I'm trying to get Ms. Barks-o-lot to calm the fuck down so we can finish off the night, then go see my family tomorrow.

You know it's you who calls me back here

I can barely remember the last time I saw you. Was it the pub in the District? Not the Lamb of course, but that one that stank of stale ale, spilled food - ignored problems. Like us. I can remember how much my fingers burned to think of that moment and how much I longed to knot them into your hair. "You can't ignore this, and you can't ignore me. No matter how much you want to, I won't let you." I think that was the first time you saw me as someone else, as someone stronger than you thought she was. The soft little growl that you let out, standing up from the table, turning to leave me yet again. And now, I wonder what you think of me. If you think of me. I miss you, but then I never really had you to deserve missing. You try to keep me at arm's length, or better yet, even further. Just to hear you were okay would put me at ease, it would serve to at least assuage my fears. Please. Dreyden, please.

Stretching in the flickering candle light, Isheth paused to rub her wrists and then lean over, undoing the knots that tied the leather over her legs and feet. It was barely protection when it came down to it, she relied on her strength and speed more than anything. The dull ache in her head was ignored for the most part, her thoughts as usual were thousands of miles away with a hunter and the cat she counted on to protect him. There was no doubt, Aska would do her job with pride - but it wasn't enough. Not when the day drew to a close and she took a moment of sleep in an inn. It made her think of the night they shared, the one time that she forced the walls down.

She stood up and placed the bracers on the desk and looked out the window. It was past midnight, most likely. She had been up for a few days, working in Hyjal again. Her hand absentmindedly traced the outline of her scar, feeling the bumps even underneath her robes. Memories of that day flashed through her mind. Achiello, the cabin, Drey rushing to save her again. Him nearly killing Achiello until she had rescued him. The fact that she had bitten him to curse him with her life too. Since having a worgen in his midst was beyond belief. Such a high and mighty monster. A dog barked in the distance outside and she tensed, thinking of how Achiello had been so proud of his precious dogs. How would they like their master now? How would they react. With a soft growl she reached over and snuffed the candle's flame between her fingertips. Achiello had no place in her thoughts, not now.

She couldn't control her thoughts really. There was no way to stop the onslaught of memories once they started. The day's events, healing Drey, going back to Darnassus and the night that followed. She had pushed all the borders and broken down what had been. And now? She had no idea. She reached out to tenderly trace her fingers along the journal's worn pages. A life time's worth of journeys, secrets, musings, longings - all the things that she claimed not to have were within those withered pages. She closed the book, tucking it away in her satchel with the warm embrace of the darkness. No amount of longing would turn fate's hands and make Dreyden be there with her. Nothing would change his wandering ways, or the avoidance they both shared for their common condition. It was easier, safer even, to ignore what they had shared and what she still spent every night thinking of.

With a soft sigh she pulled herself into the slightly too tall bed and pulled the blanket up to her shoulders. Curling into the rough pillow she closed her eyes. Sleep would fight her, sleep would eventually overcome her, but it would not deliver her from her thoughts or worries.


So Evan has been fired from State Farm. I'm not surprised, he sucks with people, he has no social skills, and it's not surprising in the slightest bit to me that he can't accomplish sales.

What did bother me though, was the flippant manner in which he informed us 'Well I'm not there anymore but it doesn't matter I can go back to Jiffy Lube and make basically the same money!' and then explain that he's got the next few days off (fucking joy, thank god I start a part time job a few minutes from the new place.) and is going to use them to pack. But, and I quote, states 'That'll only take me a couple hours maximum. Not like you guys, who still have a long way to go.'

Get the fuck out of my house, get the fuck out of my life, and stop being a dead beat leach.